Archive | April 2014

Iyanla Fix My Life

Iyanla Fix My Life

The New Season Began May 10

If you love “Iyanla Fix My Life” like I do, May 10 seems like a long time to wait for the new season. OWN has been running marathons, but I have seen most of those old shows several times already and am looking forward to seeing the new ones. I saw Iyanla during one of the seminars at the Essence Festival last year, and she was awesome. She only spoke for about 30 minutes and that packed auditorium was enthralled during the entire presentation. Her overriding message to the women there was that many of us are out of order which really cannot be denied about the collective. I read some criticism about that message later on, but please believe that the folks in attendance enjoyed every minute of her speech. Just because something does not apply to you that does not make it untrue. Furthermore, her comments were coming from a place of concern and not of condemnation – there is a difference.

The show is so popular because although Iyanla is a minister and a spiritual leader, she is very down to Earth and has no problem calling anyone out on their foolishness. Or as she puts it, “Calling a thing a thing.” On one of her first shows, she called notorious reality tv brawler Evelyn Lozada a thug among women, and Evelyn just accepted it. Heck, it was true. I can never understand why people get so upset when they come on the show and she confronts them about some glaring fault. Have they not watched previous episodes? I could definitely use her help, but there is no way that I would ever agree to air all my many personal issues on national tv. So my next best bet is to watch and learn from the show.

Celebrity Guests

In addition to Ms. Lozada, Iyanla has had other celebrities on her show like Terrell Owens, Syleena Johnson, Sheree Whitfield, the Pace sisters and DMX. That episode with DMX was a hot mess because he seemed like he was high and was so disrespectful to her that Iyanla told him that he could never speak to her again. He is an addict and in denial about what this has done to his family, yet he claimed that he thought he was there to discuss his womanizing and even threatened to sue OWN and Iyanla if they continued airing that show. Yeah, good luck with that Earl.

Iyanla & DMX

Calling DMX out on his filthy mouth

One of the most memorable moments on her show was when she was counseling a pastor’s wife about her relationship with her cheating husband and what that had done to her self image. The woman said that she did like herself even without the material trappings that came with that marriage and Iyanla asked  “So why would you sell her down the river for a hat and a parking space?” The woman could only respond that she didn’t know. She did ultimately leave the marriage which surprised the cheating husband who confessed to his bad behavior and said it was due to childhood sexual abuse.

Iyanla Counsels a first lady

Iyanla helping a first lady acknowledge her feelings

Here are the main reasons why I love Iyanla and her show:

She’s from Brooklyn. This is not as shallow as you might think because everyone knows Brooklynites are cool. Plus she calls people “boo.”

She is a sharp dresser. Iyanla does not shy away from color and patterns and her makeup game is on point.

Iyanla is a snazzy dresserIyanla is a snazzy dresser

 

Iyanla is dramatic. During an episode about 19 relatives living under the same roof, Mamma Iyanla was upset over how little empathy there is for the woman of the house whose husband has been moving various family members into the house (14 in total) without even discussing it with her first. Their children, his sister, a nephew, a niece and her small children are all there and they are anything but one big happy family. Surprisingly, the woman’s own son is one of the main critics and isn’t even defending his mother against the others who are acting like she is the worst person in the world. Having had enough, Iyanla stands up and announces that she is going to “weep in the bushes” for the lady of the house. Iyanla broke down in tears during the filming.

She comes up with her own words like craziment, and I admire folks who have their own vernacular.

She’s a hugger. You can come on the show acting like you are not going to be folded into her arms if you want to, but Iyanla is going to hold you to her bosom before it’s all said and done. Resistance is pointless.

Iyanla Hugging Evelyn Lozada

Iyanla gives good hugs

Her advice is accessible and real. It does no one any good to get lofty moral teachings that you have no idea of how to implement in your daily life. She may ask you to face hard truths and to do your work, but the concepts are pretty simple.

 

 

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Easter Fashion Roundup

Easter, The Superbowl of Hat Season

Yesterday was Easter Sunday, kind of like the Super Bowl of hat season, and the photos that I found online did not disappoint. The ladies wore colorful hats, large hats & beaded hats that beautifully complimented their outfits.

Not only is Easter, or Resurrection Sunday, a religious holiday, it’s also the beginning of the Spring shopping season and the National Retail Federation (NRF) estimated that Americans would spend $15.9 billion on candy, clothes and gifts — and hats!! The clothing segment accounts for $2.6 billion of that total, according to the NRF 2014 Easter Spending Survey.

Splurging for the Perfect Easter Outfit

Getting a new Easter outfit is not just a rite of passage for children. Many adults who don’t go to church any other time will shell out big bucks to be sharp just for that one day. And for the faithful, this is the time of year to go all out for that perfect outfit. It may not make you any more holy, but you will certainly be noticed.

How can you not strut a little looking this fierce? I can assure you that if I ever acquired one of these lids, there would be no standing me – but in good way of course.

The following hats were designed by Mr. Sax Unlimited, Harriet Rosebud, Michael A. Designs and Adrian Dana. These milliners are artists with very loyal customers for obvious reasons.

Next up — Mother’s Day.

 

Mr. Sax Unlimited veiled hat Keri Crutchfield Adorned DC Hat by Harriet Rosebud Karen Clark Sheard EasterBeaded Dome HatLady Constance Rowe Hat by Harriet Rosebud 1902022_525161344271804_5834259581634223087_n10270824_10154020392845570_6347436495310789186_n 10170690_10200920928904686_4193516226172944940_n 10277569_10203762166597763_5049835047596301959_n 10155962_10203683140824261_7911804125730369048_n 1cc04728c90011e3a8900002c9c60178_8 Michael A. Designs Hat by Harriet Rosebud Hat by Adrian Dana 926169_527169744060196_1766881292_n

Scandal Finale Recap – The Price of Free and Fair Elections

Scandal Finale Meme

The Scandal Finale Was Explosive!

I suppose it would be trite to say that Scandal ended this season with a bang, so I won’t, but it did. There was an explosion, a heart-breaking murder and a shocking resignation to wrap up the season. All those intercessory prayers must have worked, because Daddy Pope demonstrates that he really is the Hell and the High Water while Mama Pope, like the Wu Tang Clan, is nothing to eff with. And just as I suspected, those two have been in cahoots the whole time! I have been team Eli since we learned that he was Olivia’s father– remember that original scathing read?  But even I had no idea of the depths of his gangster. This man planned and schemed and set himself up for the perfect opportunity to get everything that he wanted. Man, he was playing fools like a Stradivarius with not a bit of remorse. Oh, and Huck found his family. Or rather Charlie, the jilted stalker boyfriend, finds his family and gives the the info to Quinn who passes it to Huck. Huck might get his family back y’all — no more Huckleberry Quinn. Hooray!!!

The episode picks up with Cyrus having second thoughts about not telling the President about the bomb at the church, and he is just about to tell Fitz when Jake bursts in and says that they need to evacuate the church immediately. They managed to get most of people out before the bomb explodes, no thanks to that ole shady Mr. Beene. Cyrus just keeps on making new enemies including David Rosen who goes to Jake and asks why Cyrus is not being prosecuted for letting the church blow up. He wants to take down Cyrus, B613 and the whole administration, but Jake tells him that he is not about that life anymore and he is going to sit on his couch and chill. David is no match for Cyrus let alone B613 AKA Murder Inc.

Matteo on Scandal Finale

Sally escaped the blast and is on her way to the car when Leo tells her that this is her chance to close the gap between her and Fitz by demonstrating hands-on leadership during this emergency. He rips her suit and smears some soot on her face for effect and pushes her back into the fracas where she ministers to the wounded while demanding that the reporters not take pictures. “Be Jesus, you go in there and you be Jesus,” he tells her. Yeah, more like Judas.

Olivia was in a waiting room at the hospital when she sees the news about the bombing, and she rushes back to the White House to oversee their response. Fitz’ speech about the bombing is eclipsed by Sally’s heroism. Despite Olivia’s threats and best efforts, all the major broadcasts eventually cut from Fitz to show Sally tending to the wounded at the bomb site. The whole crew realizes that they have just lost the election. Drunk Mellie is not happy and demands a refund of whatever they paid Olivia since they paid her to win. Never mind that she is the one that begged Olivia to come back in the first place.

Drunk Mellie

 

Daddy Pope Gets Paternal

Olivia returns to the hospital, and Daddy Pope is being strangely paternal when he speaks to her. The knife used to stab him just missed his heart by inches, and he is going to be okay but he is being uncharacteristically affectionate. Liv is sad about Fitz possibly losing the election, and Eli says that he loves her and he wishes he could do something to help. Say word? Not only is this coming from a man who hates the boy President with all of his being, but I do not think that we have ever heard him say that he loves his daughter. He spends most of his time being either angry with her or disappointed at her behavior. Even when she was begging him to be her dad for once he was still being salty about it. Daddy Pope is no Heathcliff Huxtable, so I was worried that he still might die since he was being all sentimental and stuff. Olivia even notes that this is not normal behavior because she later tells Fitz that she thinks he was in pain.

Daddy Pope

Mamma Pope Uses Harry Potter’s Cloak

Olivia dips out for a while but when she returns her mother is there at Eli’s bedside asking her if she was talking to her boyfriend. This woman must have Harry Potter’s old invisibility cloak the way she just pops up undetected all the time. She tells Olivia that she was trying to help her and that she committed all of those dastardly deeds for her. She also added that if she wanted to kill Eli he would be dead which we all know is true. Then she tells Olivia that “he” has hurt her and used her and will throw her away when he is done. I initially thought she meant Eli,  but she actually meant Fitz. Olivia threatens to call security and then tells her that she is not going to let her get away, but Marie asked who was going to stop her– Caps, Caps, Caps? Who you finna try? I was scared for her when Marie brushed by on her way out of the room.

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Fitz is in his office with Olivia preparing his concession speech and starts talking about moving to Vermont and starting over with her when she tells him about Big Gerry raping Mellie. She just blurt it out after the boy President was going on and on about how horrible Mellie is and how he has no allegiance to her. Fitz did not believe it at first, but he goes to Mellie who tells him that she fought Big Gerry and that she had a paternity test done on little Gerry to prove that he is Fitz’ son. Olivia knows that this eliminates any chance for them and she says that she wouldn’t even want him if he could leave his wife now that he knows what she’s been through all these years. I don’t think it was Olivia’s place to share that information, but he did need to know. That  relationship is beyond repair though.

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Charlie finds out about Huck and Quinn, who we see bent over the conference table at OPA, and instead of going ballistic and killing them both, he just calmly hands Quinn an envelope and leaves her apartment. Man I was not expecting Charlie to just walk away after getting played like that, so he must be up to something. Sure enough, the envelope contains information about Huck’s family. Is he planning to kill them? Or does he know that seeing them will send Huck over the edge? He only says that he knows that this information will prevent those two from ever having a future and that he is a sore loser. Quinn takes Huck to his family’s house and he freaks out because he says they are better off without him and leaves. But he comes back later on and knocks on the door. His wife opens the door and seems shocked to see  him.

Tragedy Strikes the First Family

Having accepted that he will lose to Sally, Fitz takes the stage at his final campaign rally to make his last big speech with Mellie and the kids in tow. They are all on stage when little Gerry starts coughing up blood and then collapses! They rush him to the hospital but he dies of a weapons grade strain of bacterial meningitis that is kept at a military base. A vial was recently stolen, and that is what was used to kill the First Son. Not little Gerry – he was so young and innocent! Who could be so evil as to kill the President’s son just to get to him?

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They Killed Lil Gerry!

Just as Fitz is absorbing this news at the hospital, Daddy Pope comes over rolling his IV pole and offers to help him avenge his son’s death which Fitz assumed was engineered by the Notorious MOM. Eli crawled out of his bed of affliction for the opportunity to get revenge on Marie who has bested him at every turn – or so we think. “I may not be your friend Mr. President, but I am a father, and I know what I would do if someone hurt my child,” Eli intones. Fitz said that he was going to kill Marie – yeah right- but Eli offers to serve her head up on a platter. He probably saved  his life too because Marie was not going to be as easy to kill as Verna. This man smothered one old lady and now he thinks he’s Sonny Corleone.

As Olivia predicted, the sympathy for the President’s loss sways the election and he wins. She calls her dad and asks him if his offer of a new life still stands because she has had enough of it all. Abby is upset and says that they went over a cliff for her and now she is trusting her father after all the lies and murders. “Go, run to daddy!” Sassy Abby better watch how she talks about Daddy Pope now that he is back in charge of B613. Jake’s ole desperate azz shows up at Liv’s apartment and asks her to take him with her. Even after she says that she loves someone else, he says that she can leave that behind along with everything else. Whip Appeal has got to be that guy’s theme song because whatever Olivia wants is alright with him. Ole thirsty azz.

Eli uses Harrison to get details about Marie’s plans so that he can track her down. He shows him a picture of Adnan lying dead on the ground and says that Marie will kill him just like she did Adnan because Harrison is in over his head.  Harrison says that he knows where she is planning to pick up her money, and armed men show up just as she was leaving the bank. Eli calls the President to say that Marie has been killed and disposed of, but that happened too easily, and I did not believe it. I wanna see the receipts!

Marie Wallace  AKA the Notorious MOM

Harrison Figures it out — too late

After learning about Liv’s departure, Harrison confronts Daddy Pope about everything that happened. He knows that Marie is all about the money, so her killing the President’s son makes no sense. But Eli is back in charge of the newly re-constituted B613 and Olivia is out of the picture – he got everything that he wanted. Harrison figured out that the Head Goon in Charge is the real killer not Mama Pope!! Eli is unfazed and simply says “My daughter wanted him to be President, and he is. Daddy took care of it. I promised her that I would not hurt a hair on his head, I gave him four more years, but there is a price for free and fair elections. He took my child, so I took his.” Whew that man is cold-blooded. And then he brings in Tom after Harrison started looking like he wanted to get physical. We see also see a flashback of Tom infecting little Gerry with the bacteria that he applied to a ring. Tom also killed Adnan and took that picture that Eli used to trick Harrison. Tom is not just B613, but he is apparently Eli’s right hand man. He killed Little Gerry and he delivered the toxicology report to the boy’s daddy. Tom is going straight to Hell in a gasoline suit for all this devilment.

Olivia and Jake board the plane that will take them to their new life when her phone rings. It’s the White House, rather it’s Mellie calling for Fitz who is having a breakdown and was asking for Olivia. Olivia ignores the call and they continue to their happily ever after… for now.

Daddy Pope is back at B613 HQ with Charlie and his minions when he walks over to the hole and lo and behold, its occupant is none other than Marie Wallace. She gives him an evil smirk and he motions for one of his goons to replace the cover after giving her a brief, but telling, nod. I knew she wasn’t dead, but will she remain in prison for another 20 years? I hope they at least left her some hair products and a good flat iron.

Mariehole1
Mariehole2

See You in September

Whew, so much drama. So much death!! So many questions to obsess about until the season premiere.

  • What is the deal with Eli and Marie? Is she like some kind of wild monster that he unleashes as needed to maintain law and order? I know she told Olivia that she did it all for her and that she would not understand until she has children of her own, but goodness. Is this the last of Mama Pope?
  • When will Olivia return? Because you know she has to come back or there is no show.
  • What is next for Daddy Pope? Now that he has his old job back and his army, I expect that he will be seeking revenge on folks.
  • Poor Sally and Leo. Killing Daniel Douglas has been weighing on her, and now that she lost the election and Andrew is the new VP, what does this mean for her?
  • Will Huck’s family accept him? And can he ever have a normal life? Well, maybe not normal, but something better than what he has now.
  • Is Mellie going to Betty Ford during the break? I get a kick out of drunk Mellie, but I am starting to worry.
  • Will Harrison be killed or inducted into B613? In light of ole dude’s messy personal life, he may just get offed. Y’all know Shonda doesn’t play around with troublemaking employees. Just ask Isaiah Washington…

So ends Season three which was disappointing overall, but I am hopeful that season 4 will mark a return to the show that won me over from the first episode. Enough of the Vermont Jam, enough of the whipped weak men and please enough sex scenes in and around the office. Put the scandals back in Scandal and let Olivia and the crew fix them.  And please keep the deadly Popes just a little while longer. Daddy Pope is the father I never wanted while Marie is the best female tv villain since Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan. And please send Ella a new mommy.

 

 

Funeral Program for Gerry Thomas Grant IV

Scandal Recap Episode 317: Flesh and Blood

Scandal Who Will Survive Meme

Scandal Left me Dazed & Confused

This episode left me dazed, confused and upset, but at least I was not bored. We learned more about Marie’s plans for the bomb and gained some new insight into her relationship with Eli and why he hates her so much. Mellie is circling the drain emotionally and is thisclose to finding out the paternity of her eldest son, and my boy Cyrus is back to being his evil self which is a relief because grieving Cyrus is not nearly as much fun as malicious Cyrus. And despite having choked the dog mess out of Ms. Pope last week, Jake is still sprung and won’t accept that she will never love him the way that he loves her. There are some awful and tortured relationships on this show, and I guess that it what makes it such compelling television because it is hard to look away from this much dysfunction.

The show opens at the OPA offices with Jake and Olivia arguing.  He is accusing her of treason when Fitz and Cyrus roll up with a security detail. Fitz told her that she should have checked with him before shutting down B613’s network, but she said she had to make a call and that the FBI or Homeland Security should be able to help them track down her mother. Cyrus says that they cannot get any federal agencies involved because that would make Mama Pope’s shenanigans part of the public record along with Fitz’ role in helping her escape. While they are going back and forth over whether B613 will be revived that ole petty Jake calls her out for giving up the drawers to get to his phone, and Fitz gave him the side eye of death.

Jake Ballard is Petty

Papa Don’t Take No Mess

Jake explains that Marie has the President’s complete itinerary, a bomb and crew on the move. They focus on Dominic Bell, the man who brought Marie the bomb. Seeing his picture, Fitz and Cyrus share a pained look and say that there is only one person who can help with this situation, and that person turns out to be Daddy Pope who makes a grand entrance to James Brown’s Superbad. Fitz tells him that this does not mean that he is being reinstated as Command – he is only there to serve his country. Eli replies that he is not helping Fitz or even his country. He wants revenge on Dominic for ruining his life.

The dueling Commands are giving their respective pitches on how best to track down Dominic, who is actually Marie’s handler, when Quinn and Charlie join the party. Charlie asks if they missed anything, and Jake replies that they only missed a history lesson in the ancient craft of spycraft from one of the Smithsonian’s finest archivists. Now that is some Cyrus level shade. Daddy Pope says that either Jake goes or he’s leaving. Olivia of course picks her dad and Jake storms off and tells her not to call him when things fall apart. Olivia follows Jake out and tells him that this a good thing because he is free. Jake warns her not to trust Daddy Pope, the master manipulator. “He will reel you in with a trail of warmth and kindness. And once you are comfortable, once you feel safe, he will take everything from you… He will take everything that matters to you. He will break your bones and step over your body on his way out!” Yeah, so I am thinking that I would pick my dad over some stalkerish nutjob who just had his hands around my throat.

Drunk Mellie

Drunk Mellie was a trending topic on Twitter last night and for good reason – she is hilarious! Either her Dad sent Mellie a new shipment of hooch, or she brewed up her own batch of white lightning because my girl stayed drunk for the entire episode. Olivia tells Fitz that he needs to stay at the White House because someone out there wants him dead. “You think it’s just out there?” slurs Mellie. Fitz was trying to argue with Cyrus about not hiding out in the White House, but Mells notes that if Olivia tells him to stay put he will. With just 6 days before the election, they are canceling all remaining campaign events which is working out in Sally’s favor. Furthermore, an important ally on immigration dies, Senator Hightower, and Fitz sees giving the man’s eulogy as an opportunity to speak to the public, but Olivia insists that it is not safe, so Sally starts preparing to deliver the eulogy.

Mellie is still upset about losing Andrew and wants to get her revenge on Fitz by requesting a paternity test on little Gerry from the White House doctor. Leo Bergen, Sally’s henchman, goes to the Gerry’s school to collect a DNA sample that he got in a very skeevy way involving a teenage girl and a condom. But by the time he called Eli with the update, he was already working with Olivia and told her what they were up to so that she could thwart the plan which she does by paying off someone at the lab.

Olivia confronts Mellie about ordering the test and asks her if either or both of her children were fathered by Andrew. Mellie is angry and tries to wave her off, but then Liv tells her that had to have known that this would be leaked and homegirl just unleashed all her anger about having sacrificed her happiness for Fitz’ ambitions for the last 15 years. She says that she wanted Fitz to burn and to suffer and says that it’s Fitz’ turn to bear the cross because she does not want to be nailed to Big Gerry any longer, but she never comes right out and explains what she means by that. Mellie then begs Olivia to keep the test from getting out and to not tell Fitz about it.

Mellie Grant

Mama Pope’s Other Man

Huck found Dominic and dumps him on the floor of Olivia’s office – right after Charlie and Quinn had announced that he was gone. Daddy Pope asked Dominic about the bomb and he starts talking all slick saying that he must be Eli because he is exactly how Marie described him. Then he tells Olivia that he has not seen her since she was a little girl and asks if she remembers him. Daddy Pope is not trying to walk down memory lane with this fool, so he tells Huck to do whatever it takes to make him talk but Olivia instructs Huck not to hurt him. Olivia has been pestering him all day about why he hates this man so much and Eli tells her that Dominic Bell is the only man that her mother ever loved — I thought he was going to say that Dominic was Olivia’s real father!

Huck got nowhere by playing nice, so Eli gets a gun and calls Marie from Dominic’s cell phone and warns her that he will kill him unless she reveals her location all the while trying to keep her on the phone long enough for Huck to trace the call.  Daddy Pope is literally playing Russian Roulette with this guy as he holds a gun to his head, and the gun only has one bullet in the chamber. He takes a shot each time Marie refuses to help and she ultimately hangs up the phone before the trace is completed and Eli kills him to get revenge for how they both played him which made Olivia so mad that she had to be physically restrained. The following day she lets him know that she did not appreciate him turning her office into a Black ops site. Daddy Pope apologized, but I don’t think he meant it. He finally explained that  Dominic was Marie’s partner and had her marry Eli just to get access to his information. This has been eating at him for years, and he enjoyed killing the man who ruined his life.

Olivia is so upset thinking about her cold, murderous parents that she calls Jake to vent but he only wants to talk about their last roll in the hay and says he knows that she was not just using him because he could feel it. I am really starting to worry about this guy. Here you are supposed to be some slick assassin with killer instincts yet you cannot stay away from someone who is constantly playing you. And if that was not bad enough, she had nerve to say that yes she felt something while they were doing the deed, but she loves her married boyfriend and felt like she was betraying him. Right. In the words of Dr. Phil “How is that working out for you?”

She tells Jake about how Marie let her man be killed when she could have easily saved him and Jake tells her that she is not like her mother which she of course already knew.

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Fitz is getting restless at the White House watching reports of how Sally is beating him in Ohio, so he decides to go to the rally in Defiance despite Marie still being on the loose with a bomb. They fire up the helicopter and are just about to board when Olivia calls Cyrus and tells them that they are going to get Fitz killed. Daddy Pope overhears this and tells Olivia that her mother loves her and would never kill the President if it means killing Olivia too, so she joins the campaign in Ohio and the whole thing feels like a morbid death watch.

Meanwhile Jake, who has been working with David to track down Marie using some fancy facial recognition software, discovers that Mama Pope killed Senator Hightower so that Fitz would attend his funeral at this church which is the real location of the bomb – not the rally in Ohio! Jake calls Cyrus with this information and advises him to warn the others and clear the church, but he just hangs up and asks Ethan if Sally had already left for the funeral. Not only does he not tell anyone that the bomb is at the church, he also lies to Fitz about the service being delayed and has him read the eulogy to him.

Huck, Charlie and Quinn have to dispose of Dominic’s body but Charlie and Huck are too busy squabbling to get anything done, so Quinn drives off alone to handle it. When she returns to the parking lot, Huck is there waiting for her and they finally consummate their unholy union while Mama Pope struts by on her way to meet up with Eli in the office. I mean ole girl was stepping like she was on a runway with not a care in the world and those two nasty clowns didn’t even notice. I doubt that they could have stopped her but heck, pay attention.  Who Gon Check Me Boo?

Ruthless though Marie may be, she does love her daughter, and when Daddy Pope sent Olivia to that rally in Ohio so that Fitz would not be killed, that was the final straw. She opens the door and orders Eli to bring her baby back home.  He calls Olivia and tells her that Marie is there at the office, and in the next scene he is laying on the floor bloodied and possibly dying. I guess between that knife incident from the restaurant and using Olivia as a human shield, the Notorious MOM had enough of the nonsense.

The show closed with scenes from the church highlighting Sally, Andrew and Leo who had just arrived.

And Mellie has the real results of a second paternity test that Olivia discreetly ordered for her.

  • If they kill off Daddy Pope, the most verbose and irritated dad in television history, then I am going to very upset. Who else is going to lecture that naive child of his about the ways of the world? Who else will be able do deal with the Notorious MOM who has turned out to be way more lethal than I ever imagined.
  • Is Cyrus really going to risk the lives of a church full of people just to be rid of Sally? I know he is a monster, but this is bad even for him.
  • Does Gerry’s paternity test reveal what we have been thinking all along? And if so, will Mellie finally tell Fitz that his father raped her?
  • Where was Charlie when Huckleberry Quinn was defiling that parking garage? That sneaky stalker was probably watching from a remote location, and if so, there is going to be another funeral real soon.
  • When is Jake going to accept that Olivia will never choose him over Fitz? She used him just last week, and had nerve to tell him that she still loves the Boy president. Man, pick up your toys and move on already. And quit being so whipped.

With this much drama packed into this lead-up to the finale, I just know that we are in for a real roller coaster ride next week.

And let us all take a moment of silence for Daddy Pope who turned out to have every right to be so angry at everyone all this time. Stay strong Eli – you have many more indignant monologues to deliver.

Intercessory Prayer for Eli Pope

 

 

 

 

Scandal Episode 316: The Fluffer

Scandal The Fluffer Meme

Scandal Was Doing Too Much This week

From the risqué title to the dramatic final closing scenes, this week’s episode came close to doing way too much. For those of you who do not know what a fluffer is, Google it, because this is a PG blog and I am not going there. And as if that title was not pushing it far enough, the President’s fake mistress returns with a tell all book describing the Presidential package. Olivia handles Andrew who kicks Mells to the curb, Abby & Leo take down Governor Reston, Mamma Pope and Eli almost get to scrapping in public, and Jake goes ballistic after getting played by Olivia yet again.

After the Grant family interview last week, Olivia is stepping back from the White House and sends Abby over to run the campaign meeting.  Abby was so proud of  herself wearing one of Olivia’s old coats armed with lots of polls and data, but none of them is having it. Realizing that Olivia is not attending the meeting, Fitz walks out followed by Mellie and Andrew without so much as a “good day madam.”  The king of shade is back in rare form and insists on calling her “Gabby” which sticks, and he compliments her on the coat before leaving.

Olivia is meeting with her father to lock down the source of B613 funds and asks him to promise not to hurt Fitz, but the only thing that he is going to promise her is another epic read since she can’t seem to get it together. Daddy Pope is not completely evil, so he promises that he won’t hurt a hair on the boy President’s head -it’s the rest of him that they need to be worried about. It turns out that B613 has a secret account that they used to siphon money from all the other federal agencies. Huck is angry when he learns that the she got the info from her dad and refuses to help her hack into the account, but she tells him that he works for her and they all do things that they do not want to do.  This will come back to bite her later when they need to get to Jake’s phone.

The Return of the Fake Mistress and Shady Cyrus

Jeanine Locke, the former staffer who they paid off to pretend to be Fitz’ mistress, is back with a book about her fictional time as the Presidential mistress. She made up a whole story about the affair and alludes to his bedroom prowess and his “baguette.” Just tacky. They suspect that Sally is behind it and Cyrus decides to leak the the story of Sally’s teenage daughter getting a secret abortion which backfires because it makes her more sympathetic to female voters. Olivia tears into him for causing this problem and he replies “You can’t just lie down on the job and send some amateur in here because your boyfriend was mean to you.” Oh Cyrus, how I’ve missed your shady takedowns.

Fitz throws a tantrum over Liv sending Abby to the White House and wants to remove Andrew from the ticket because he is not trying to run with Mellie’s boo thang. She tells him that it would be a bad move to dump him now and asks him what else he needed in a very cold way since she is still feeling like the help. Fitz picks up on her tone and repeats her question and she launches into a tirade asking him about what services she would be required to provide for him today “Am I here to stroke your ego, am I your cheerleader? Am I here to wipe your tears…maybe I am here to make you feel hot and manly and ready so that you are not jealous of your wife’s boyfriend? Am I your fluffer today Fitz?” He replies that he is not the bad guy and tells her that she wants it to be easy but it is not. He also tells her that she was being disgusting, but I think he was into it.

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Jake sends Charlie and Quinn to take over the surveillance of Mamma Pope who was getting her swerve on with some criminal type dude who is going to bring her flowers. So that is what the kids are calling it these days.  Harrison approaches Claire, one of Marie’s operatives, trying to figure out where she is and what she is planning, but Claire is like nope I’m trying to learn from the master thug.  Charlie starts questioning Quinn again about her loyalty and asks her if she can be faithful to him and B613. Ole needy &  jealous self.

Jake Channels Lennny Williams

A drunk and lonely Jake shows up at Olivia’s door in the middle of the night demanding that she let him in. They might as well have been playing Lenny Williams’ “Cause I Love You” in the background because ole dude was pouring out his heart talking about how he asked her save him and she said no. Sigh. This man is turning into a stalker, and she later capitalizes on the fact that he still loves her by going over to his place and giving up the goodies to gain access to his cell phone. Huck has something that can turn the phone into a transmitter giving them access to all of B613’s network  infrastructure, but the device must be attached to Command’s phone for 30 seconds. I guess a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, but I was so worried that Jake was going to catch her with his phone!

Jake Ballard Channels Lenny Williams

Fitz is still trying to replace Andrew on  the ticket but Liv tells him that it’s impossible, so she decides to have a chat with Andy to tell him that he can either be vice president or keep creeping with Mellie.  Olivia warns him that if he chooses Mellie, she will ruin him and Mellie will leave him because Mellie likes to stomp with the big dawgs. “Screw Mellie or be VP. It’s your choice.” Andrew says that he loves her. Olivia was not impressed and tells him that he has 24 hours to decide but it’s been her experience that men like him will choose power over love every time.

Abby & Leo Take Down Gov. Reston

Abby and Leo are dispatched to leak Governor Reston’s file to who his wife who is in prison for falsely claiming that she was being raped when her husband walked in on her and her sidepiece. She did not realize that the Gov. knew what was up and used that as an excuse to kill the man and get away with it while  Mrs. Reston rots in prison. His wife asks if he knew that the man was her lover, and he told her that she better keep quiet before he has her committed to a mental hospital. He didn’t know that he was being filmed or that the video would soon be posted online by Abby. He just got Poped.

Olivia is at a restaurant with her father when mama Pope strolls in and helps herself to a glass of wine. Oh she is not there for a family reunion, she has come with a warning for Liv to find a new line of work because what she is doing is liable to get her murked. Daddy Pope was so mad that he reached for a knife and Marie dares him to try it, and he doesn’t.  I think Daddy Pope met his match. Harrison calls during this awkward dinner to say that the Claire is dead. Speaking of Harrison, how are they going to NOT address him getting stabbed in the neck with a needle last week? We didn’t forget! Olivia tells him to get back to the office and calls her mother a monster which she probably took as a compliment.

The feuding Popes at Dinner

Mellie Goes all Ike Turner on Fitz

Mellie does really well at the Warrior Women campaign event and is so excited that she finds Andrew at the White House and asks him if he wanted to “talk.” Boom Chicka Wa Wa. He was all like, nope, I’m good, and she realizes that Fitz shut it down because earlier Andrew was professing his love and begging her to love him back. She walks into Fitz’ office during a meeting and slaps the dog crap out of him and yells “You take everything from me!” Homegirl leaned into that slap and unleashed the fury of three years of public humiliation. Cyrus tries to clear the room, but Mellie tells them stay and icily warns Fitz “You just keep being the President.” They are going to drive ole Mells back to the hooch just when she thought she had her groove back. He better sleep with one eye open in Teddy’s room.

Mellie slaps Fitz

Huck manages to break the code to gain access to B613’s network and blows it up, and they make the mistake of being too proud of themselves toasting and making speeches. Just as they are feeling really pleased with themselves, Jake bursts in with a gun, slams our girl against the wall and chokes her.  It turns out that Marie’s suitor delivered a bomb -the Mona Lisa of Boom according to Charlie. Quinn wanted to move in right away but Jake tells her to wait, and then they lose all communications because the network was shut down before Jake gave them permission to move. Quinn decides to go anyway, but Marie is gone by the time they get to the hotel. “At least know we know whose side you’re on,” Charlie whines. It did not take Jake long to figure out what happened to B613’s network, and he told Olivia that she just killed the President.

For all the action crammed into this episode, I was actually bored for the first half.  I am sick of Fitz’ tantrums and whiny speeches – he never wants to accept blame for anything. I am also tired of Olivia crying about Vermont and Jam — it’s never going to happen. Get over it. I really do not like the way they have her playing Jake and whoring herself out just to get what she needs. Surely there had to be another way to get access to his phone.

I think Daddy Pope and Marie may be in cahoots because they both have the same objective -to  get rid of Fitz. There is bad blood there but you know Marie is gangsta enough to overlook her personal feelings to get what she wants. And then she’ll kill him or die trying.

Charlie is going to kill Quinn. He keeps on questioning her about her loyalty to Olivia, and I have a feeling that he knows about her and Huck slobbing each other down, and he is not going to just stand by and let that happen without retaliation.

I cannot believe Jake put his paws on Olivia! Granted, she was trifling, but I am about tired of seeing her getting choked out. First Huck hemmed her up and now this dude. Her new theme song needs to be “Protect Ya Neck,” by the Wu Tang Clan.

I am trying to hang on in there with Shonda and them, but it’s getting more difficult each week. There is no one to like on this show anymore, no one to root for because they are all flawed, damaged and borderline pychotic. I live for Mama Pope and the chaos that she brings, but even that will get old after a while. OPA needs to get back to fixing stuff and soon.